Each year at this time, we are reminded of National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week. The National Institute on Drug Abuse promotes this week to inspire dialogue about the science of drug use and addiction among youth. Dialogue is not always associated with teenagers, at least when it comes to the adults in their lives. As a therapist in the field, I have learned that teenagers are always talking. We must know what to look for to truly “hear” them. Throughout this article is information about substance use, warning signs to look for, tips for talking with your teen about substance abuse, and addiction support.

In the Monitoring the Future Survey 2022, 308 public and private schools in the U.S. were surveyed and found that the most reported substances were alcohol, nicotine (vaping), and marijuana. For eighth graders, 12% reported vaping nicotine in the past year, 8.3% reported marijuana use in the past year, 15.2% reported drinking alcohol in the past year, and 4.9% reported use of illegal drugs (other than marijuana) in the past year. 

Seniors in high school reported the following: 27.3% reported using nicotine in the past year, 30.7% reported using cannabis in the past year, 51.9% reported drinking alcohol in the past year, and 8.0% reported use of illegal drugs (other than marijuana) in the past year.

Why teens use substances

It is fair to say that being a teenager comes with a lot of stress and pressure—perhaps now more than ever before. For many teens, using drugs or alcohol can temporarily relieve that stress. Most teens (just like adults) are drawn to the fact that the relief is felt instantly.

This is problematic for a few reasons:

  1. The brain does not finish developing until we reach our mid-20s. The prefrontal cortex of the brain—the area of the brain that helps us to have empathy, regulate mood, assess for future consequences, and make healthy decisions—is not fully formed during teenage years. This makes healthy decision-making difficult for teens and only increases the likelihood of making poor decisions when substance use is introduced.
  2. Substance use has become riskier in the last few decades. The potency of marijuana these days is drastically higher than the weed of 20 years ago. The rise in many substances being mixed with fentanyl—an opioid linked to over 3,000 deaths in Illinois alone in 2021—can lead to scary consequences. The biggest risk with this stat is that a teen can believe they are safely using what they consider to be a “safer” drug such as weed to relax and take the edge off, but could find themselves in a very scary situation if it is laced with fentanyl. Vaping appears to be the more popular method of using marijuana these days, which reduces the risk of unintended contamination of fentanyl or another substance.

Signs your teen may be experimenting with substances

While all this information can be quite scary, knowing the warning signs of a problem with substance use and how to help can lead to a much better outcome for all involved. Warning signs that might indicate your teen is experiencing an issue with substance use include the following: 

  1. Drastic changes in mood (increased anxiousness, irritability, paranoia, depressive symptoms)
  2. Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed
  3. Dropping old friends for a new group
  4. Sleeping more or less than usual
  5. Breaking rules more frequently at home and school
  6. Frequently asking for money, or stealing money or other items
  7. Locking bedroom doors and engaging in more secretive actions
  8. Social media: pictures of use on social media, drug slang on social media, secret profiles
  9. Damaging relationships with family and friends
  10. Lying
  11. Skipping school or having a drop in grades, missing work or other important obligations
  12. Physical changes:
    • Poor hygiene
    • Weight loss
    • Shakiness
    • Glazed or bloodshot eyes
    • Frequent runny nose or nosebleeds
    • Pupils larger or smaller than usual
    • Track marks
    • Aroma of substance on clothes
    • Decrease in coordination, signs of intoxication

It is important to note that any of these warning signs alone might not signal a problem with substances. Still, a combination of a few could suggest a problem with substance use or symptoms of Anxiety, Depression, or another mental health disorder that needs to be addressed. The more information you can have, the better you can understand what is happening and how you can help.

Talking With Your Teen About Substance Use The Dos Donts Moody

Tips for talking with your teen about substance abuse

As mentioned before, talking with teens is not the easiest task, nor is talking about this topic for many parents and loved ones. However, following some of the tips below should make the conversation much more manageable and meaningful.

  • Avoid judgment: The more you reinforce that your teen can share anything with you and will not be judged, the more information you will gain. This will allow you to have a better understanding of what your teen is experiencing and how you can help. 
  • Regulate emotions and use respectful language: Model how you want your teen to communicate with you. If you’re feeling triggered emotionally, take a break and return to the conversation when you’re feeling more regulated. 
  • Be honest: This might feel uncomfortable, but be as honest as possible when your teen asks you questions. You can practice discretion if it would be harmful for your teen to know, but most times, it is helpful for your teen to understand your experience and see that you remember what it’s like being a teen. Also, if you are expecting honesty from your teen, it can be hypocritical not to share honestly yourself. Thank your teen for their honesty throughout the conversation.
  • Agree on a consequence-free conversation: If teens are worried that they will get in trouble for what they share when asked, you won’t learn what you need to know. Begin the conversation by reviewing the purpose of the talk and reassure your teen that what they share will not lead to consequences. This agreement does not mean that consequences cannot occur for future choices, but creating a safe space for the initial conversation is crucial. 
  • Acknowledge what you don’t know: Each generation has a new language when speaking about drugs and alcohol, which is typically far different from what their parents’ generation used. Ask questions such as: What is marijuana called most often these days? What terms mean what? How do you or your friends get (X, Y, Z)? How do you use marijuana, etc.? Technology advancements have created a different way for the younger generation to enjoy substances. Please don’t feel you have to know everything to convince your teen that you do, because they know you don’t.
  • Validate and normalize use: Ask your teen why they experiment with or use substances and validate your child’s feelings and reasoning for use. Attempt to empathize with their experience even if you disagree with their choices. Often, the phrase used in therapy is, “Drugs and alcohol have benefits. Otherwise, people wouldn’t want to use them. They fulfill a need.” You can agree with this fact but also simultaneously not support coping in unhealthy ways. Acknowledging this truth helps encourage that open dialogue. 
  • Review harm reduction in the conversation: As parents, we hope our teen makes the healthiest choices possible. But the most challenging part of raising teens is knowing they have a mind of their own and they might not make the same choices we would for them. Making sure your teen knows risk-reducing behaviors if they choose to use alcohol or other substances can create more peace of mind. For example, can they call you if they drink at a party so they don’t drive home under the influence? Give advice such as hold onto your cup at a party and don’t leave it unattended, etc.
  • Do your research: Aside from asking your teens, there are a lot of resources online that share about substance use, warning signs, slang terms teens use for drug use, and ways teens hide substance use in plain sight. Keeping as informed as possible will allow you to feel better prepared to deal with any issues. The two resources below are helpful starting points:

  • Stay positive: Throughout the conversation, remind your teen of their positive qualities and what you appreciate about them. Remind them what they’ve indicated is important to them and of values they’ve communicated to you. This is a great way to help your teen examine if their actions match their values and goals without them realizing you are creating this discrepancy during the conversation. 
  • Pay attention to timing: It is best to have a conversation with your teen when they are in a regulated state. You know your child best. If they do best with having energy for discussions in the morning or night, make sure you do so when it’s the most productive for you both. Avoid having a conversation if your teen had a triggering day. Address HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) before beginning the conversation. If basic needs are not met, the conversation is unlikely to be productive or positive. 
  • Incorporate self-care into the conversation: Comfort can positively indicate a successful conversation. In therapy, we teach the importance of using coping skills to feel regulated and calm in times of stress, and discussion about substance use with teens can be stressful for all involved. Consider lighting a candle, having comfort foods (candy, snacks…teens love snacks), playing music, and having blankets or other comforts for your teen available during the conversation. Your teen is most likely experiencing some level of anxiety about the topic. Having these things available can help them to share and cope throughout the conversation, as well as yourself. 
  • Verbal communication only: Although texting and Snapchat appear to be teens’ preferred methods of communication these days, communicating in this manner can lead to a lot of misinterpretation. Avoid engaging in meaningful conversations about substance use in this way, as text can always be misinterpreted and most often lead to barriers in communication.

Talking With Your Teen About Substance Use The Dos Donts Girl on Phone

Teen substance abuse treatment and support options

After the conversation, if you have concerns about your teen’s substance use, there are various supports that can help. At Family Counseling Service, we offer the services below that you might find helpful. Please reach out to us regarding any of these services:

  • Individual therapy to help your child explore their relationship with substances, identify healthier coping skills, and address the possibility of an underlying mental health disorder. 
  • An 8-week group for teens that focuses on providing education about addiction, dual diagnosis symptoms, reviews relapse prevention skills, and building resiliency. 
  • SMART Recovery meetings – Tuesdays from 5pm-6pm at our Oswego Location (84 Templeton Dr. Oswego, IL 60543).

Additional resources include:

  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357), also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service, or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hours-a-day, 365-days-a-year, information service in English and Spanish for individuals and family members facing mental and substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Agencies can complete assessments and make necessary referrals for inpatient, intensive, or outpatient treatment as needed.
  • SMART Recovery – Online or in-person self-help groups are available in the community to help teens and adults review and address addictive behavior by focusing on changing cognitive thoughts to control the addiction.
  • 12-Step Support Groups – Online or in-person self-help groups that incorporate the 12 steps as a method of getting sober. 
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness – Provides resources to address mental health needs for teens and parents/caregivers.

Getting help for your teen’s substance abuse

Wherever you find yourself in this parenting journey, know that support exists. Don’t hesitate to contact FCS or some of the other resources listed above to help yourself and your teen. If you feel overwhelmed or defeated at moments, reflect on this advice by journalist and former educator Sue Atkins: “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.” If you follow some of these suggestions shared, you are a “real one,” and you won’t regret it. Your teen will be thankful for it—even if they can’t say that right now because they are a teen, after all.  

Call us at 630-844-2662 or contact us online to schedule individual therapy. Hope Starts Here at FCS.