The most wonderful and most stressful time of the year is upon us. Holidays are meant to be spent with loved ones, making memories and celebrating a new season. We somehow tend to forget about this. One way to stay grounded is to practice mindfulness during the holidays. And there are plenty of opportunities to do that.  

Why Do We Get So Stressed During the Holidays?

Once November hits, it’s like the clock works ten times faster. We suddenly have crazy deadlines at work, gatherings to plan and attend, gifts to buy, special food to prep, and, if you are a parent, the Elf must be in a different place every single day. Have you ever felt like there are not enough hours in the day? Some common stressors during the holidays include:

  • Getting together with family – This can be extra stressful if there is tension in the air. How can we manage the uncle with inappropriate comments and jokes? And the aunt that criticizes everything? Avoiding arguments can be a huge cause of increased stress.
  • Money – Buying presents for everyone, plus the extra groceries and outings, can be detrimental to our budget. Families have to talk about money, make tough decisions about priorities, and manage a lot of discord.  
  • Perfectionism and expectations – We plan and work so hard to have the best time, but, in the end, everything ends up differently than we wanted. We might feel overwhelmed and frustrated and getting back into the holiday spirit can be challenging.  

These are just a few reasons we get so stressed during the holidays. Each of us has our personal stressors, like grieving someone we lost, seasonal blues, and so on. The point here is: how can we manage these obstacles so that we can enjoy this precious time with the ones we love? The answer can be found in mindfulness.  

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What is Mindfulness? 

Mindfulness is a practice originally from Buddhism but has been used in Western cultures for centuries. It means staying present, and living our lives moment to moment with no judgment. This can be done with formal practices, like meditation, or informal practices, which can be any activity you do where you can be fully engaged in the present.  

When practicing mindfulness formally and frequently, we teach our brains to take brief pauses when stressed. This is key to responding to a situation instead of reacting emotionally. Also, if we practice it throughout the day, we tend to enjoy the good moments fully and strengthen our relationships.  

How Can We Use Mindfulness During the Holidays?

The first recommendation is to practice mindfulness meditation as often as possible. It can be for 5 minutes before bed. There are apps and websites that provide great guided meditations. Research shows that meditation helps us manage stress, which results in decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression. We are teaching our brains that it is okay to be where we are, no matter how uncomfortable the situation is. Find a guided meditation that works for you and get practicing! Here are some other things you can do: 

  • Slow down! We all have a lot to do, but can you stop for a few seconds to observe what is happening around you while you are doing that? Is it cold? Can you smell something specific? Use your five senses to ground yourself in the moment.  
  • Active listening – This can be difficult if your relatives get on your nerves, but hear me out. When you actively listen to someone, you are focusing on more than the words. You are attuning to their emotions, connecting with them. It is easier to understand where the person comes from and have some empathy towards them. If you are fully present in the conversation, you can also respond to the person’s point of view without escalating the situation.  
  • Mindful eating – Yes, we overeat during the holidays, and it is delicious. But sometimes, we go too far and don’t feel so great afterward. When you focus on listening to your body, you become aware of what you really want to eat, whether you are hungry or full, and, most importantly, you savor every bite you take. 
  • Be open to the range of emotions that surge within yourself  – use mindfulness to navigate strong emotions, such as sadness, anger, or frustration. Investigate what you are experiencing and accept it without fighting. Let it be, and you will see that it will eventually go away.  
  • Set boundaries! – Be aware of your own needs and respect them. Whenever someone asks you something or invites you to another social event, stop, listen to yourself, and do what is best for you and your family. Throw the “shoulds” out the window.  
  • Practice self-compassion – one excellent way to use mindfulness during the holidays is to notice our self-talk. We all make mistakes. Talk to yourself like you talk to your friend. Don’t be harsh on yourself for not saying yes to everything.

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These are just a few ways you can incorporate mindfulness during the holidays. I also suggest practicing gratitude. Look around you — family, friends, nature, etc. There are so many reasons to be thankful. Why not focus on them instead of focusing on what is going wrong? Bring the true meaning of the holidays back on the agenda and help those around you do the same. Happy holidays and have a beautiful new year! 

Reach Out to Family Counseling Service for Help

If you are struggling with mental health challenges during the holiday season, getting the help you need from a qualified mental health provider is important. Family Counseling Service is here to help. Call us at 630-844-2662 or contact us online to schedule individual therapy and give yourself permission to take care of yourself.