Not enough people know about the importance of a support system for mental health. I have experienced trials in my own life recently that have shown me firsthand how crucial a good support system is.
Twenty years ago, I went to the doctor for an annual physical and ended up being diagnosed with an autoimmune kidney disorder. I was told that the disease would slowly progress and that I would eventually require dialysis and possibly a transplant. And that’s exactly what happened.
Kidney disease is an insidious thing; there aren’t a lot of warning signs. The build-up of toxins in your system in the later stages causes severe fatigue and nausea. Over the last several years, finding the energy to meet my work responsibilities and support my family and home was challenging at best. I hid it well, as many people eventually told me, “Oh, I never knew you were sick.” But I was struggling.
At the beginning of 2020, my condition was at its worst. I began the process of evaluation for transplant – a journey that included every imaginable lab test, CT, MRI, X-ray, and more. My least favorite experience was the “take your shirt off and jog on this treadmill in front of much younger, more attractive-than-you people” test. It was guaranteed, if nothing else, to convince you to try to get in shape! At one point late in 2020, my wife Kelly, a nurse, called my doctor and said, “Enough. Get him on dialysis.”
I was one of the fortunate ones. I was approved in the fall of 2020 for a transplant. When we reached out to family and friends, so many people signed up to be screened for donating that the coordinator at the transplant center called us and told us to stop asking, as they were having trouble keeping up with the number of people calling. Late in 2020, my cousin Laura was approved as a donor.
At the end of February 2021 – a remarkably fast timeline – I had transplant surgery with a kidney that started working immediately after the transplant. I can’t say enough good things about the transplant team at the University of Wisconsin Hospital in Madison. My transplant coordinator, Kym, has been a godsend, keeping me on track, educating me along the way, laughing at my not-so-funny jokes, and making sure all the doctors are on the same page. It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses since then; there are periods where I’ve felt great, and some where I’ve felt less than good. But every day has been light-years ahead of how I felt before the transplant.
How my support system rallied around me
As fortunate as I have been to be the recipient of a donated kidney, I have been similarly blessed with an incredible support system. I have coworkers who have picked up the slack when I’ve had to take time off or on those days when I’ve been at less than my best. People from our church dropped off meals (both a blessing and a hard pill for me to swallow, given my love for cooking).
My close friends call or text just to check in with me – sometimes offering a compassionate shoulder and (more often) jokingly “encouraging” me to stop slacking and get back to work. Most importantly, Kelly has spent countless hours attending appointments, sitting in hospital rooms, and fighting with insurance companies. My healthcare journey has been much easier and more successful because of all these people.
The importance of a support system for mental health
In the mental health field, we often speak about the importance of support systems. People who struggle with mental health issues need a close, reliable group of people they can lean on when symptoms are worse, they’re struggling to get through some days, and especially when depression and anxiety lead to thoughts of self-harm.
Our clients who have a strong support system weather those tough periods with far more success than those who lack strong support. Their overall treatment outcomes are better, and they spend less time in treatment than their less-supported counterparts.
How a support system can help you
A support system can look like many things – family, friends, counselors, clubs, religious organizations, and even a local crisis hotline.
A strong support system can help you:
- Keep track of your treatment appointments
- Communicate effectively with your provider team
- Solve problems by listening to and talking with you
- Get help with day-to-day needs
- Find the information and services you need
If you’re just getting started developing your personal support system, it might help to:
- Make a list of things others can help you with
- Make a list of people who might be able to help and provide support
- Keep a list of who has agreed to help and with what
- Share this information with your support team (including a therapist/counselor/caseworker if you have one)
It’s a great idea for each member of your support system to know who the other “team members” are – both for your benefit and to help make sure they don’t feel alone in supporting you and develop helper fatigue.
Reached out to a qualified mental health professional
At Family Counseling Service, we’re honored to be a part of the support system for thousands of people in our community. If you need a support system, a qualified mental health provider can be an excellent resource. Family Counseling Service is here to help. Give us a call at 630-844-2662 or contact us online to learn more about individual therapy and the other services we offer. Hope starts here.
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