How Parents Can Support Suicidal Teens

Suicide. This one word often creates an intense emotional response within us. If you are the parent of a teenager, the simple thought of talking about suicide with your child can be anxiety-provoking and you may be unsure what to say or how to approach the topic. Many feel lost when trying to navigate the topic of suicidal thoughts with their teenager.

As a child therapist, I help parents have these conversations regularly. I am frequently asked if parents should talk to their kids about suicide. My answer is always, yes.

Suicide does not discriminate.

“But if I talk about suicide, could that make my child suicidal?”

No. Research has actually shown over and over again, that talking about suicide does not typically increase suicidal thoughts, but it can help reduce shame and feelings of isolation. By starting the conversation, you are providing a safe space for your teen to express themselves. This can bring comfort and safety to them when they might need it most.

“But what if my child has never mentioned depressive thoughts or symptoms? Do I need to talk to them about suicide if they aren’t depressed?”

Yes, you do need to talk to them. Your teen does not need to have expressed depressive thoughts to be at risk of suicide.

So, how do we help our teens? How do we know if they are at risk? Keep reading to find out!

Know the risk factors

There are a number of risk factors to be aware of (and this list is not exhaustive):

Substance use – if your teen is utilizing alcohol, marijuana or other substances
Prior suicide attempts
Family history of suicide or loss of a friend to suicide
History of trauma or abuse
Mental health concerns (depression or anxiety, etc.)
History of making impulsive decisions
Access to means (weapons or medications)
History of being bullied
Recent loss
Chronic medical conditions

Know the warning signs

Mood swings
Withdrawing from family or friends
Changes in sleeping habits
Engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors
Increased use of substances or alcohol
Giving away belongings
Talking about suicide or writing about suicide
Changes in routines
Researching suicide methods
Changes in grades
Loss of interest in extracurricular activities
Physical changes (such as losing weight) or changes in personal hygiene
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness

Know the steps you can take to help

Start the conversation. Though you may be fearful that talking about suicide could make your teen suicidal, typically the opposite happens. Your teen may feel safe talking about their thoughts and feelings with you and this could create a space for them to talk about it.
REALLY listen. With all of your senses. Our kids are communicating with us in everything that they do. Teens want to feel heard and they want to feel like their problems matter. Give them your full attention when they are talking to you.
Monitor and talk about social media safety.
Pay attention to changes in your teens appearance, routines, mood, hygiene, and activities.
Connect, connect, connect. Make time for your teen (even if it means watching YouTube or playing video games). Get interested in what they are interested in.
Medication Management. Help your teen manage their medications.
Trust your instincts. Safety is the number one concern.
Find support for yourself such as a parent coaching group or individual therapy.
Discourage isolation.
Have grace with your teen. Remember that teens are still learning how to navigate their world and manage their own mental health.

Resources available so that parents can support suicidal teens

The external organizations below are all incredibly helpful resources to lean on for support if your teen is struggling with suicidal thoughts:

As always, FCS is here to help. If your child is feeling suicidal, you are not alone. There is hope and there are people here to help. Call Family Counseling Service at 630-844-2662 or contact us online to schedule individual therapy for your child or yourself.

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